In Response

This is a response that I wrote to a dear friend of mine, Chioke. He and I graduated from the same High school in Jacksonville Fl, and although we have different world views, we enjoy having an open discussion about said views. I am just straight up copy and pasting what I wrote to him, in response to what he wrote (I believe he posted it on his blog), which was a response to my Okot p'Bitek blog entry. So, if you are reading this and have not read the first two, I strongly suggest that you not rad ahead and start from the beginning.

Here we go...

Chioke,

I hope it isn't too late to respond to this letter. If I remember correctly, I told you that I would respond within a week of writing this, and I apologize for not coming through in the time that I said I would. When I first read it, I needed time to really soak it all in, to try to understand what you are saying without letting my thoughts cloud the point that you were so elegantly making. When you sent that email, it was my last few days in Zambia and when I got home i think I kind of forgot about it, till now. So, I have re-read it and am responding many months later.

May I first start out saying that I am not as skilled as you are at putting my thoughts into words to articulate exactly what I want. My writing skills are weak at best and I attribute that to my being unread and that I don't write very much at all. So, after re-reading my own blog entry on Okot p'Bitek's Song of Lawino and Song of Ocol, I realize that what I wrote didn't express exactly what I was trying to say, which explained why your response was in part the way it was. Let me clarify, I did not and do not believe that Okot's work was an attack on my identity, I believe that the thoughts in my head were an attack on my identity. I no way did I just throw out what I read as though it was not important, I just had to get those thoughts out of my head that I'm worthless because I'm white, that all I can do is harm because I'm white. I still think about what I read in that book. By the way, Drew gave me a copy of "The Wretched of the Earth" by Frantz Fanon. I haven't began reading it, but do plan to get to it.

Next, I would like to ask you, what is the deal with this "white Jesus" thing? Come on, I know that you are more aware than that, and I'm sure Okot p'Bitek was as well, yet both you and he refer to Jesus as white. I just think that makes it easier for you to wrap Christianity up with colonialism. I know that you think that they are the same thing, but I do not agree with you on that point. It's strange to me that people are so mad at Christians, because hundreds of years ago there were people who claimed to be followers of Christ started wars and did a lot of killing. In my mind, as soon as they did that they were no longer following Christ, they were doing something else. Maybe they used God to gather people together on their side to excel their campaign? That would be using God's name in vain. Besides, I don't really see people getting mad at atheists because Hitler believing in Darwin's theory to begin what he thought would be better for the human race, by exterminating the "weaker" humans? No, they get mad at Nazi's. I'm just tired of Christians being the scape goat.

About me helping; I do want to help people. I'm not sure that I understand when you say "... pattern of interaction between the empowered and the powerless" fully, but I do not like the idea of setting up the powerless to only be able to rely of the empowered. I think that it's kind of like that in this country with welfare. I don't think that there shouldn't be welfare, I've seen what happens in countries that don't have it, but I think there should be a very strong encouragement and empowering for people to help themselves. A big part of what I want to do in Zambia ( I am going back at the end of this month for another 8 months) is live among these people, learn their tribal language and basically become as Zambian as I can possibly be in order to understand where they really need help and how to help in a way that doesn't disrupt the culture that I have become a part of. I'm talking of committing and not just being ready to go as soon as things don't go my way. I do realize that it is still an "option" for me to be there, but I don't know how else to help. You did mention that those you were with in Uganda found a good way to help, maybe you can help me understand their ways, or how they differ from mine?

Well, I hope to hear from you soon.
peace,
Nicholas